Many years ago, I was a School Tour Guide for Senior Classes in London. I had a special GREAT STORES OF LONDON tour that lasted half a day. First, we would go to Hamley's Toy Store on Regent Street. At the door, on the sidewalk, I would ask each student to give me one shilling. Then I would give them these orders (and a paper and pencil): "Go inside and find the craziest, funniest, most interesting, wierdest, BEST toy you can find. Write down the name and description of the toy and why you loved it. When you return in one hour, I'll read the entries and give the "winner" (my opinion) all the shillings. Have fun. See you exactly in one hour." It was great!
The next stop was FORTNUM AND MASON'S on Picadilly Street. This was the most expensive food store in London, founded during the reign of George III during the American Revolution. It was the store that supplied the foods for Stanley, for example, on his quest to find Dr. Livingstone. It was the famous store whose food boxes were seen on the heads of African porters as Englishmen explored the "Dark Continent". I remember seeing a bunch of grapes there that cost 1 English Pound EACH! The best aristocratic families would have their wines and foods delivered to their estates. A fancy store where the employees wore "pink" hunting jackets, like footmen. The same routine: "Give me your shillings and go inside and find the MOST expensive and crazy item you can spot. But, this time, only 30 minutes. You have to rush. Look hard and fast. May the best snoop win." I am trying to remember what won, but I really can't. Maybe a jar of Lady Fitzwarren's Plum Jam for EngPounds 40.
And finally, FOYLE'S for books. The same routine. The same shillings. The same rules: "Here you have only 45 minutes (but you can return later if you want during free time). Find the single craziest title you can and rush back." At this point, I remember a policeman stopped the group and asked what we were doing. It must have looked like a street gambling scam, I guess. I showed him the paper with the directions to the students, and explained the purpose of the "game". He laughed and said, "You'll need more than 45 minutes in THAT store, I'm sure." And off he went. This time I remember exactly what book won the prize: TROPICAL DISEASES OF THE ANUS, by some professor. WITH photos it said. And the winner, a charming young girl who was so innocent and cute that snow wouldn't melt in her mouth. She surprised us all with her winning choice. My god, did we laugh.
But, we are grandparents and today was the day to shop for the three grandchildren: Manami age almost 3, Samuel age soon to be 17, and Max soon to be 15. Foyles must be the perfect store. And in we go and immediately come to a complete halt. TOO DAMN BIG! Where to begin? Like zombies, we go into the Children's Section. "I'll look in the science-fiction section for the boys. They like strange tales of many-headed Kaluchians invading Earth and using the Gamma-Delta Paralyzing Ray to subdue their hapless victims. And Time Travel. And experiments that go wrong. And The Future Landscapes with all human life destroyed and Zombie Robots Running Amok In Empty Fields, While Human-types Live In Underground Cities Deep In The Core," I said. "That'll be easy."
Judy went to the section of books to be read to a child. The Picture Books. The lovely charming books about Ants and Flowers and Sweet Choo-Choo Trains, and Roly-Poly Badgers and all Light and Joy and Humor (with a teeny bit of philosophy and morality smuggled into the text: "Mrs. Chipmunk always worried about Chippy and Chappy. "Where, oh, where did those naughty little chipmunks go?") Guess who found the first (and best) books? Of course, Judy.
We found three books, and I can't remember any of them now. Except one was so beautiful that we just had to buy it. It was written by an American/Japanese lady wanted her daughter to learn Japanese words. Since Manami's mother is Japanese (and our son not) this seemed perfect. It was so pretty and thoughtful. Each page had several items with the English AND Japanese names attached to them. The items were chosen carefully. The drawings were beautiful. The book had a hard(but padded) cover and it was simply delicious to hold. Judy knew that Manami would love it (of course, so would her parents). We paid for the books AND got a Foyle's cloth bookbag also. Why not? Cute.
Now, the older grandchildren, the boys. What to do for them? A book? Nope. So, what? Then Judy had a great idea: "This is the year that the Olympic Games will be held in London. I'll bet there are loads of stuff advertising that. Let's go look." We walked to Piccadilly Square and there Judy spied a store. "Lillywhite's! Perfect." I asked her how she knew that Lillywhite's was the right store for us. "Because it is a huge sports store, that's how." But, how did she know that? It didn't say: HUGE SPORTS STORE. See, here is the secret information shopping network that women have. Lillywhite's home page says: "The finest sports store in the world, Lillywhite's of Piccadilly Circus in London is the oldest and largest specialist sports store in the UK. Lillywhite's is known principally as a high end sports retailer, offering an extensive range of specialist of sports clothing and equipment." And, it IS what it says it is. Three, maybe four stories of nothing except sports stuff. Every single British football (soccer) team has shirts and shorts there. All the international football (soccer) teams are represented. American basketball teams are there. Every sport (Rodeo: nope) is there. And also a section of Olympic shirts. We found two for the boys. For Samuel, a swimmer, a tee shirt with an Olympic swimming emblem and for Max, a tee shirt with a fancy Olympic emblem. All done. Safe again.
Now it was time to head for home and meet Richard at our arranged time of 1:30.
We returned to Rupert Street, dumped the gifts, met Richard, and headed for lunch. "What do you want to eat?" he asked. That's the kind of question that demands an answer, right? What DO we want to eat? Italian? Lebanese? Indian? "Nothing too heavy." "Oh," he said, "I know the perfect place. Dim Sum. Is that good?" We said yes and headed off into Chinatown. He walked very deliberately down one tiny street, across into another tiny street and said, "I think it is here. Yes, that's it." We crossed the street to the restaurant. "Hmmm, it looks closed," he said. "Maybe it is the wrong place. Now I'm not sure."It DID look dark and closed. There were a couple of people looking at the menu at the door and suddenly, they just went in. "I guess it is open," he said. Hmmm. I guess so.
It was the NEW WORLD CHINESE RESTAURANT at No. 1, Gerrard Place. (that's from the paper cover for the chopsticks. After the meal, I asked the head waiter if I could have some chopsticks to take home. Richard said, "Why do you want chopsticks?" See, I was right!) The meal was excellent, with the trolley ladies coming along with delicious food. Everything we tried was delicious. We told Richard that our son, Peter, loved to eat chicken feet. Richard is a big fellow and has lived all over the world, but he said, "Chicken feet is one thing I won't eat. I don't like the way they taste. No chicken feet for me." And we agreed.
When we finished and were out on the street. What to do. We had time to kill since the play didn't begin until 7:30. "What do you think about the British Museum?" Richard asked. A good idea, so we set off. Now you have to understand that when he strolls around London, each of his steps is two and a half of a normal person's stride. AND, to make matters more interesting, he walks through London as if he were a taxi driver, NEVER taking a direct route.
We went down Newport Street to Newport Court. It was a sunny day and people were sitting on the grass. A young couple walked by us and the boy had a tee shirt from FLORIDA STATE and, of course, I said, "Really? Florida?" He told us no, but the girl came from Cornell and in fact, so did he. Well, Richard's daughter, Lily, is a student at Cornell, so we had a good fun laugh about meeting strangers randomly. Off we went down Great Newport Street to Longacre, up Neal Street to Shorts Gardens, to Macklin, up Smarts to High Holborn, up Grape to Little Coptic, to Little Russell and finally left on Museum right to the front door of the British Museum. That was our little jaunt to settle our lunches.
There is a new atrium dome over the inside courtyard at the Museum. It is spectacular. All glass with the light from outside filtering in. There are large stone steps curving up to the balcony level. It feels like you are inside a peaceful cave of light. All the tourists milling around, children running, cameras flashing and still you don't feel crowded at all. We decided to go directly to the Egyptian display rooms and look at the mummies. Of course, the mummies are amazing. The display explains how the mummies were made and what materials were used and why. You got an education about Egyptian religion and politics as well. The faces of the children watching the mummies were the best. They had studied Egypt in school and now, there in front of them, were real "live" mummies. I could hear them telling their parents, "See, this is about Aton and here is the sign for Upper Egypt and here is the Jackal god." It seems obvious now that this technological generation of children can still be amazed by the technology of the ancient world.
But, it was the next room that got to me. It was the CLOCKS AND WATCHES room. Suddenly I was face to face with the Cassiobury Park turret clock built in 1610. Amazing! The clock was right there to see with all its original (restored of course) parts. The caption explained it all. This was fascinating stuff. Each clock (or watch) only has a basic 5 part assembly: the source of the energy, the wheels, the catchment, the dial and the face. The idea (genius) is that the source of energy(pendulum, hand winding, gravity) turns the wheels, but to keep them from spinning out of control, you need a catchment that flips back and forth only allowing the energy to be released at a set rate. This is transferred to the face and the dial. It sounds so simple and is so very complicated. How long, I wonder, did it take the monks to come up with all the ideas AND the technology.
We spent a pleasant hour in the Museum and decided to go to a place for afternoon tea and cakes, just to fill us up before the theater. Again, the watchword was "Something Light." Oh, yeah. We ended up at Patisserie Valeries on Frith Street, established in 1926 by, guess who, Madame Valerie herself. She came to London on a mission to introduce fine Continental Patisserie to the English. That is what the brochure says, but the truth is that she was a spy for the French and they had decided the perfect way to ruin the English "stiff upper lip" was to fill English bellies with delightful and very fattening pasteries. I had something I think that was a Double Chocolate Apple Cake with Absinthe, that had been banned by the European Commission on Human Rights. I loved it.
End of Part One
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